Metropolitan Diary analysis: 2006-03-13

Link to today's Metropolitan Diary

• Mother tells children to behave themselves because "This is the Upper East Side, not the Upper West Side." Category: Jaded New Yorkers
• No one offers a seat to a pregnant lady on a B train until she makes a sarcastic wisecrack. Category: Jaded New Yorkers
• Husband mistakes Jasper Johns for "the johns" (e.g. toilets) and wife gets irritated. Category: Amusing Misspellings
• Hadn't thought I could use that category again but this fits close enough. Plus you all would get irritated if I continue to use Jaded New Yorkers for everything in today's Metropolitan Diary analysis.
• Man writes long, uplifting letter to child ("Malachy") whose father found the writer's wallet and returned it to him without accepting a reward. Category: New Yorkers Aren't So Bad, After All!
• OK, this was the last straw; there were too many of these to continue to ignore the category. (Though briefly I considered putting this in Precocious NY Kids because the kid's name is Malachy, which marks a pretentious parent if you ask me.) By creating this category now, I had to go back and edit several other entries, which changed the overall totals some, which mostly hurt Rubes in the Big City.
• Young woman at Turkish restaurant amazes patron by knowing the difference between an "I-need-a-toothpick look" and a "looking for the men's room look". Category: New York Eccentrics
• Friend Dave does not know that North Face is a clothing manufacturer; thinks it is a school. Category: Rubes in the Big City
• I admit I'm stretching this category as "Dave" is clearly coming "across town" on the 86th St bus, which indicates that he lives on the Upper East Side, but the letter is clearly designed to paint him as clueless or a buffoon, and the closest category is Rubes in the Big City. Plus that category suffered upon introduction of the new New Yorkers Aren't So Bad category.
• "I Love You You Don't Even Know" written in snow on a car. Category: New York Eccentrics
• Admittedly another stretch but I didn't know how to do it. Maybe I should go with "Maudlin Shit That Has No Right To Be In Metropolitan Diary" and that'll knock out that letter to Malachy as well?
  

Totals for this Metropolitan Diary:
Jaded New Yorkers: 2
Amusing Misspellings: 1
*NEW!* New Yorkers Aren't So Bad, After All: 1
New York Eccentrics: 2
Rubes in the Big City: 1

Totals for year to date:
Precocious NY Kids: 12
New York Eccentrics: 10
Oh, Those Fast-Paced New Yorkers!: 10
Jaded New Yorkers: 10
Rubes in the Big City: 9
Precocious NY Pets: 5
New Yorkers Aren't So Bad, After All: 5
Amusing Misspellings: 4
Single New York Woman's Perspective: 3
WTF:2