Metropolitan Diary analysis: 2006-08-14

I might as well as start off every entry with an apology for how long it's been. This six-week lag is my most egregious yet, and this after I supposedly picked up another reader, from the rural thumb of Michigan.

Anyway, here is my thoughtful analysis of today's Metropolitan Diary. I think I'm still fixated on the unintentional "class struggle" aspect of these Dear Diary entries so as my readers, you can either bear with me, enjoy the ride, or click that "next blog" tag up in the top right and read a much more interesting blog by a sassy housewife from a suburban area! I really don't care, I'm just that kind of blogger!

One other thing to note. In the summertime, all New Yorkers of the sort that the Metropolitan Diary is written by and about are at summer houses and send their kids to camp. So have you noticed that the Precocious NY Kids category is falling way off? Originally I thought there would ultimately only be two categories, that one and Rubes in the Big City. Clearly I did not understand the subtle nuances of the Metropolitan Diary then as I do now, but it looks like NY Kids is rapidly losing due to the summertime absence of precocious children. Perhaps if I continue with the true insane nature of my mission (which is to categorize a years' worth of the Metro Diary) I will go back through the summer and provide trending to show that with kids out of town, Precocious NY Kids Metropolitan Diary entries have a corresponding drop. I'll get back to you on this important issue!

• Waitress unable to understand that customer wants rugelach AND coffee, and he has to point it out to her. Come on, as a highly paid professional, why doesn't the waitress understand what "Paul" is asking for? Category: Amusing Misspellings (Well, um, 'cause she mistook his order. All three of my readers are welcome to comment if they believe it should be in a different category.)
• FYI, I usually don't comment on the poems.
• Dry cleaner has sign in window offering to press suits for free if the customer is unemployed and needs it for an interview. Letter ends with "Aren't New Yorkers nice!" which really means I have no choice but to assign it the Category: New Yorkers Aren't So Bad, After All!
• Woman spots "tired and sweaty movers" lounging on fancy antiques on hot day and refers to it as a "wonderful sight". Was she being facetious? Do not the workingmen deserve rest like the media professionals who work "just south of Union Square"? When they rise up, "Maggie", you had best have plenty of fancy chairs for all hard-working people! Category: New York Eccentrics
• Woman impulsively asks passer-by to take picture of herself, a sidewalk fruit vendor, and another customer, sparking an interracial "moment of silliness". Category: New Yorkers Aren't So Bad, After All!
• Bikers on West Side path see nun roller-blading, and crack joke that "she must be late to Mass". How did they know she was not praying for the deaths of the two disrespectful sinners? (just kidding) Category: Oh, Those Fast-Paced New Yorkers!
• Woman pushes cart through line at supermarket after week at the beach, forgetting that you leave the cart at the opposite end of the line, and is called out as a rube by fellow customer in line. I do live to make fun of the Metropolitan Diary, but I have to admit I found this sort of amusing. Maybe it's just because as soon as I read it I knew I would be able to assign my favorite Category: Rubes In The Big City

Totals for this Metropolitan Diary:
Amusing Misspellings: 1
New York Eccentrics: 1
New Yorkers Aren't So Bad, After All: 2
Oh, Those Fast-Paced New Yorkers!: 1
Rubes in the Big City: 1

Totals YTD:
Amusing Misspellings: 14
Jaded New Yorkers: 25
New York Eccentrics: 23
New Yorkers Aren't So Bad, After All: 16
Oh, Those Fast-Paced New Yorkers!: 13
Precocious NY Kids: 28
Precocious NY Pets: 6
Rubes in the Big City: 17
Single New York Woman's Perspective: 3
WTF: 2