Metropolitan Diary Analysis: 2006-03-27

Sorry for the late report, I was in New Orleans this weekend and then St. Louis, and it took me awhile to catch up. This was Monday's Metro Diary; below is my summary and witty(?) commentary:

• Cranky old lady in fancy building (Ansonia) has hated the 12th floor for 54 years. Category: New York Eccentrics (Aside: do any of my (so far nonexistent) readers think there should be a category specifically for old people? I have been thinking that this is a critical component of the Metropolitan Diary; old peoples' reactions to modern situations. Comment if you think so...)
• Third-grader complains about her first day back after February break. Category: Precocious NY Kids
• After several cable guys visit writer's apartment to solve son's cable problem, one determines that a pigeon has eaten the cable. Cue unfunny punchline. Category: Precocious NY Pets (OK, a pigeon isn't a pet, but this clearly falls in the common Metro Diary genre of a "savvy New York animal" of some sort; imagine something about a squirrel seen drinking from a "greek" coffee cup, or a sparrow getting on the subway (I think they actually wrote about that a few years ago), or a rat stealing a MetroCard. Then the writer would say "Looks like a real New York (squirrel/sparrow/rat)!" I suppose if I rename the category Precocious NY Animals if would make sense. But that's a pain. So bear with me.)
• Illegally(?) parked Fire Department vehicle draws envious note from mounted policeman. Category: New York Eccentrics
• Father advises 5-year-old to push onto crowded elevator by saying "Pretend it's the subway!" Category: Precocious NY Kids
• Man and doctor wife overhear conversation surmising that only "doctors and drug dealers" still carry pagers. Category: Jaded New Yorkers
• Man writes letter of praise to MTA because he met his wife on the M96 crosstown bus. Category: New Yorkers Aren't So Bad, After All!

Totals for this Metropolitan Diary:

New York Eccentrics: 2

Precocious NY Kids: 2

Precocious NY Pets: 1

Jaded New Yorkers: 1

New Yorkers Aren't So Bad, After All: 1

Totals for year to date:

Precocious NY Kids: 15

Jaded New Yorkers: 12

New York Eccentrics: 12

Oh, Those Fast-Paced New Yorkers!: 10

Rubes in the Big City: 10

Precocious NY Pets: 6

New Yorkers Aren't So Bad, After All: 7

Amusing Misspellings: 4

Single New York Woman's Perspective: 3

WTF:2

I will comment here that, as I suspected, Precocious NY Kids is well in the lead. However, there may come a time in which I combine the Jaded NYers, NY Eccentrics, and Fast-Paced NYers categories into a single super category which incorporates the "New Yorkiness" of NYC residents. Again, comments welcome. Eh, who am I kidding? My wife is the only person who reads this...